Coping With Death

Hi Folks -

Thank you for your support.

I have absorbed all your wishes and affection and feel stronger.


I made a humongous discovery when Shri, my husband left his body.

Death can truly be a smilestone in our long journey.

While alive on earth, we can read, research, meet people who had a near-death-experience and listen to what they went through to add to our knowledge.

In short,if we do not harm another in words and deeds,if we follow the basic laws of good conduct, we avoid the lower realms after death.

I understood all that and was sure I was prepared for death.

After all, it is something wonderful and I just 'go ahead'.

Now I know the subtle but important difference -

It is my own death that I am prepared for.

But the death of my dear ones?

It took a moment or two to get my balance.

The absence of physical presence,the routine phone-calls when away,is painful.

Shri's death was was unexpected, without any real warning, so it took me some time, but now I am okay.

As I had mentioned in my last post, Vipassana helped tremendously.

Read the posts on it, the one on Metta too, and you will understand.

To those grieving for someone/something lost, when you feel overwhelmed,become aware of your breath and follow it for a few times.

Now I speak from experience. We truly live only one breath at a time, so concentrate on it, be aware of it.

Feel your heart-beats a few times, they will slow down.

When thoughts and memories of fights or harsh words or anger come, let them, along with your awareness of your breath.

It is not as difficult as it seems.


Nithyashanthi conducted a Prayer Meeting for Shri.
Google Nithyashanthi to find out more about this wonderful wise soul.

It was very calming and peaceful.

He first explained that the meeting was for us, as Shri had moved to a space of bliss - was probably playing golf there too!

He said, 'A breath has no beginning and no end. A day has no beginning and no end. Life too, similarly, has no beginning and no end.'

He narrated a couple of anecdotes, about what goes with us when we die.

It is not the position, possessions,wealth,or even loved ones.

It is just one's own good deeds and good thoughts that elevate or pull down in the journey beyond.

We gave a lovely white stone to over a hundred people who were present and Nithya asked them to think of a good quality of Shri's which they liked and asked them to try to bring it in themselves.

The stone would remind them of this.

People came and spoke about Shri, and from his oldest and closest friend onward, his childhood, college days, his career in the army from his senior's and junior's point of view, his friends - his whole life got covered!

Many more came and spoke to us about his wonderful qualities and even we, the family, came to know so much more about him than we did earlier!

Death teaches a lot.

Love, bonding, humbleness, gratitude, courage - and letting go.

Go within.

Relax in the silence and top up.

Breathe.

And start again.

It's the Festival of Lights now.

Keep the spirit burning.