How's life?!
Lets get down to work right away.
We are going to look into a very serious subject today and I thank the person who very courageously mailed this question.
Let me reproduce parts of it -
'I am disturbed because of some vulgar thoughts cropping in my mind for no reason.
I have no intention nor can I think anything like this in my life, ever.
I don't know how come one fine day a part of such thought came into my mind and I have been feeling guilty ever since.
Though through meditation, I have been able to calm myself down by not reacting with fear when such thoughts come up, still I have not been able to take them completely out of my mind'.
Well.
First things first-
EVERYBODY gets dirty thoughts.
They come from the same source as our clean thoughts.
Let us see what happens when thoughts crop up.
Many times, they just carry on in our mind without any active participation from us.
Our mind thinks of the day, plans things to do and how best to do them.
It's like being driven around.
There is motion but we are just flowing.
We pay attention when we have to get off at our bus-stop and cross the road or take the staircase.
Then the conscious mind takes over.
We may forget the non-consequential stuff that happened along the way.
What makes up obscene or dirty thoughts?
Mostly, sexual activities.
There may be other topics considered 'dirtier', but thoughts on sex, about sex mostly top the list.
Why is this so?
It is very, very basic to our existence, in fact, the root cause of our existence.
Most of us are born out of it.
The physical body starts to become aware of its sexuality before teen age sets in.
The mind may become preoccupied even before.
This is an activity which is supposed to generate a lot of thrill and excitement with a partner - and it seems one can also indulge forever and ever.
So, one may have actually had sex or not be interested at the moment, the hook here, and a very powerful one too, is that one's mind can still be completely absorbed by it.
If a glutton thinks constantly of food, the senses of taste and his stomach will respond to it.
With sexual thoughts, the whole body reacts with pleasure or longing which keeps one at an anxious level.
And it is easy to convince oneself that longing, anxiety, tension are what bring out the best in our work or life or both.
These thoughts enter stealthily and keep us swaying even without our having to concentrate on them.
Once they establish their hold over the mind, whenever any unpleasant thought has to be worked out, maybe some office or relationship issue or money or sheer boredom, the mind slips to this 'small, 'harmless' break'.
It seems harmless enough to think these thoughts, instead of the answer one has to come up with to some nasty or hateful, unavoidable stuff.
Now why should one not indulge in this?
The real issues which we are avoiding, just get bigger and worse.
The mind refuses to calm down enough to take those decisions or work out those fears and phobias.
Let me give you a couple of examples from my past Life Regression sessions where people could connect to their fears which were buried deep down, below these constant thoughts.
A person came with a number of ailments apart from sexual indulgence.
High BP, Heart problems, Sleeplessness, bad relationships, the works.
We peeled off the layers one by one.
He had died of wounds to his heart in a number of lifetimes.
He had led very anxious lifetimes because he was having affairs.
They were the cause of his sleeplessness and bad relationships too, because the guilt would not let him be.
When we went even deeper, the cause came out.
Intense fear of death.
Every waking moment since his teenage, this person had been fearful of dying.
Deep within, his mind would be sure his bus would have an accident, the bridge would collapse, the car overturn, the lift plunge, the dog would bite -
Day after day, he lived with this festering fear which was buried deep within.
Now, one cannot live and work and succeed with this weight, can one?
So he started to think of sex as a way out of his gory thoughts, to the extent that they now preoccupied his waking and sleeping moments.
It became a heavier burden, though to him, it was better than acknowledging his 'absurd fears'.
When his past life issues of his fears and guilt were resolved with apologies and forgiveness sought and given, the hold of these thoughts reduced considerably.
Now that he is aware, he checks when he finds himself going back to old habits.
Am I running away from something or merely indulging in something I like?
Similarly, fear of failure, inability to take harsh decisions, lack of self-confidence, lack of self -esteem are some of the causes.
So whenever you become aware of your 'obscene' thoughts, check what it is that they are hiding so vigorously, keeping you from your evolution.
Face those issues head on.
Yes, you can!
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